Pabst Blue Ribbon: A Manifesto

Pabst Brewing Co., owner of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Schlitz, and other old-line beer brands, is on the sale block again.

Pabst’s owner, the Kalmanovitz Charitable Foundation, based in Mill Valley, Calif., has hired Bank of America Merrill Lynch to find a buyer willing to pay around $300 million, according to the New York Post, which cited unnamed sources in an article last week.

The sale effort is apparently the result of a deadline imposed by the Internal Revenue Service. Federal tax laws don’t allow charitable foundations to own for-profit companies.

The IRS initially gave the foundation until 2005 to sell Pabst. That deadline was extended to 2010 when a buyer couldn’t be found, according to a 2008 report by the Chicago Tribune.

Because Pabst doesn’t own breweries, it mainly operates as a marketing company, crafting strategies for selling dozens of brands, which also include Old Milwaukee, Stroh’s and Heileman’s Old Style. The company owns the brands and contracts out its brewing to Molson, the Canadian beer giant.

The Pabst Blue Ribbon label has made quite a comeback lately. For the four weeks ended July 12, the company saw its case sales increase 21 percent compared to a year earlier, giving it a three percent share in the high-volume sub-premium market.

This should come as no surprise to those of us who enjoy drinking great tasting beer but don’t exactly have the funds to keep a constant supply of Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale or Hoegaarden in our refrigerator. I’d like to take this opportunity to enlighten the W&J community about the wonderful merits of this American classic.

The Great Swine Flu Ruse of 2009

Saturday President Obama declared the H1N1 flu, also known as the swine flu, a national emergency. I’m willing to bet nobody heard that news. The declaring of a federal emergency, according to White House officials, was not because there has been a major increase in the number of H1N1 cases, even though the numbers have been increasing gradually. The move was to help health care facilities when they become inundated with cases of H1N1.

This will allow them the ability to make quick moves to contain H1N1 flu cases, including moving patients diagnosed with the virus to a designated area of their facility or moving them to another treatment facility, such as a nearby armory. Declaring a national emergency can also allow some of the restrictions placed on Medicare and Medicaid patients to be removed.

In late July, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) abruptly advised states to stop testing for H1N1 flu, and stopped counting individual cases. The rationale given for the CDC guidance to forego testing and tracking individual cases was: why waste resources testing for H1N1 flu when the government has already confirmed there’s an epidemic?

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but ask those close to me, I called out the swine flu as a swindle back in the spring when it first surfaced. Don’t get me wrong, some people have gotten sick from H1N1. But as mentioned above, hospitals aren’t even distinguishing between H1N1 and seasonal flu anymore. This isn’t the hell broken loose, run for your life virus that the government and news outlets would have you believe.

So just what is the purpose of declaring a national emergency?

Dilbert

News is Dead: Exhibit A

Is it really any wonder why these companies are dying?

Playoff Baseball is Here! I’m Gonna Need a Nap First

It’s October, meaning baseball is finally relevant! Only one problem: games end way too late. Case in point: a 4 hour and 6 minute Game 3 in the Phillies/Rockies series. That’s absurd!

The average length for the 20 nine-inning Major League Baseball playoff contests last year was three hours, 16 minutes. With an average start just before 8:30 p.m., that meant the last pitch (on average) came at 11:44 on the east coast. During the regular season the average is 2.75 hours. Why are playoff games so much longer than the rest of the season?

The popular answer is television and more commercials. But if we look at the games closely, this is not totally the case. Throughout the regular season, the majority of games are on TV whether nationally or locally. Unlike other major sports, baseball is not ruled by a clock so there are no predetermined commercial slots.

This leads to long stretches of commercial free baseball unless the game is a pitching duel with short at-bats. Television can explain why there are no day games during the playoffs, but that’s a whole other conversation. The more correct answer is the concept of opportunity costs and the scarcity principle.

Audit the Federal Reserve NOW!

This deserves to be brought back to the top:

Texas Congressman Ron Paul introduced a bill to audit the Federal Reserve back in the 80’s. It gained him some notoriety during his presidential campaign at the time but things are surely different nowadays.

HR 1207, the Federal Reserve Transparency Act, has 297 co-sponsors in the House of Representatives and 30 more in the Senate for its companion bill, S 604. It has very real potential to pass and with every fiber of my being, I hope that it does. It’s the first step on the road to completely eliminating the Federal Reserve.

Here’s why we should do just that.

Are You a Racist?

Use this handy flowchart to find out!

it's just SO accurate!

Why I am Protesting at the G-20

Gettin' right aggro in here innit?

For the hippies, communists, and pacifists of western Pennsylvania (and whoever else traveled to town), Thursday and Friday’s Group of 20 summit is another excuse to make papier-mâché globes and rant against ‘capitalism.’ Admittedly, I really do not like being lumped in with the usual protestors, as frankly, they have become caricatures and clichés for lazy idiocy.

I’m swallowing my pride however, and will be occupying my own slice of sidewalk along Liberty or Penn Avenue, or wherever the security perimeter allows, protesting this meeting of presidents, prime ministers, and central bankers.

But Greg! Why would a nice fellow such as you want to be considered a ragamuffin and hang out with those crazy ‘anarchists?’ I have several reasons.

Trade War with China? Great Idea!

“We might have done nothing. That would have been utter ruin. Instead we met the situation with proposals to private business and to Congress of the most gigantic program of economic defense and counterattack ever evolved in the history of the Republic.” – Herbert Hoover, 1932

Only the fact that I wrote this piece on a computer is keeping me from thinking it’s the early 1930’s because Obama and this administration feel it necessary to replicate every mistake Hoover made at the time.

Outlandish rise in spending and taxes? That’s been done before. Create unquestionable uncertainty in the financial sector leading to inactivity and declines in investment? Once again, old hat. Starting a trade war in the vein of Smoot-Hawley? You most likely missed this one, but yes, another rerun.

“Almost 50 Million” Uninsured? Not So Fast

Medical care services are not a right; they are a good produced by physical and human capital in limited supply. If demand increases, which is Obama’s point in extending health insurance, prices must increase accordingly. He cannot repeal the laws of economics; costs are real. If they are incurred, someone has to pay them. Politicians can control them however, by refusing to pay for the services.

This is called rationing.

I digress. The real aim of this ‘Welcome Back’ column is the dishonest nature of the health insurance debate thus far, and most importantly, Michael Moore’s nice, round figure of 50 million uninsured Americans. Or is it 40 million? Or 47, like Obama said? Whatever. The issue here is what Mark Twain was talking about when he said there are lies and damned lies with regards to statistics.